r increase. When Christian awoke out of the stunned condition which
had been hers both before and after her marriage, she began to awake
also to the dawning consciousness of what real marriage ought to
be--the perfect, sacred union, so seldom realized or even sought for,
and yet none the less the right aim and just desire of every true man and
woman, which, when not attained, makes the life imperfect, and the
marriage, if not a sin, a terrible mistake.
"I have sinned! I have sinned!" was the perpetual cry of Christian's
heart, which she had thought was dead as a stone, and now discovered
to be a living, throbbing woman's heart, which needed its lord, was
ready to obey him, love and serve him, nay, fall down in the very dust
before him, if only he could be found! And she knew now--knew by
the agony of regret for all she had missed, that he never had been
found; that the slain love over which she had mourned had been a mere
fancy, not a vital human love at all.
Now her husband never kissed her that she would not have given
worlds to feel that his were the only lover's lips which had ever touched
hers; he never called her by one tender name that she did not shiver to
think she had ever heard it from any other man. There was coming into
her that sense of awed self-appropriation, that fierce revulsion from any
intrusion on the same, which comes into any woman's nature when
beginning to love as she is beloved. Christian did not as yet; but she
recognized her husband's love, and it penetrated with a strong
sweetness to her inmost soul. Mingled with it was an acute pain, a
profound regret, a sad humility. Not hers, alas! the joyful pride, the
full content, of a heart which is conscious in its sweetest depths that
it gives as much as it receives.
This was all. She had done nothing wrong, nothing unworthy of either
herself or Dr. Grey; nothing but what hundreds of women do every day,
and neither blame themselves nor are blamed by others. She had but
suffered a new footstep to ent
Notka biograficzna
Helen Fraser (born Oldham, Lancashire 1942) is an English actress, a familiar face in many television comedies and dramas from the 1960s to the present. She is best known to television viewers for her long-running role in the ITV womens prison drama Bad Girls as unpleasant warder Sylvia Bodybag Hollamby from the very first episode in 1999 to the very last in 2006. She played the same role in the West End production of Bad Girls: The Musical in 2007.
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