nmint wrote to th'
Prisidint: 'Most gracious an' bewilderin' Majesty, Impror iv th' Sun,
austere an' patient Father iv th' Stars, it has come to our benign
attintion that in wan iv ye'er populous domains our little prattlin'
childher who ar-re over forty years iv age ar-re not admitted to th'
first reader classes in th' public schools. Oh, brother beloved, we
adore ye. Had ye not butted in with ye'er hivenly binivolence we wud've
shook Rooshya down f'r much iv her hateful money. Now we must prove our
affection with acts. It is our intintion to sind a fleet to visit ye'er
shores, partickly San Francisco, where we undherstand th' school system
is well worth studyin'.'

"An' there ye ar-re, Hinnissy. Th' frindship ceminted two years ago with
blood an' beers is busted. I don't know whether annything will happen.
Hogan thinks so, but I ain't sure. Th' Prisidint has announced that
rather thin see wan octoginaryan Jap prevented fr'm larnin' his
a-bee-abs he will divastate San Francisco with fire, flood, dinnymite,
an' personalities. But San Francisco has had a pretty good bump lately
an' wud hardly tur-rn over in its sleep f'r an invasion. Out there
they're beginnin' to talk about what nice people th' Chinese ar-re
compared with our old frinds an' allies. They say that th' Jap'nese grow
up too fast f'r their childher, an' that 'tis no pleasant sight to see a
Jap'nese pupil combin' a set iv gray whiskers an' larnin', 'Mary had a
little lamb,' and if th' Prisidint wants thim to enther th' schools
he'll have to load thim in a cannon an' shoot thim in."

"We'd bate thim in a fight," said Mr. Hennessy. "They cudden't stand up
befure a gr-reat, sthrong nation like ours."

"We think we're gr-reat an' sthrong," said Mr. Dooley. "But maybe we
on'y look fat to thim. Annyhow, we might roll on thim. Wudden't it be
th' grand thing, though, if they licked us an' we signed a threaty iv
peace with thim an' with tears iv humilyation in our eyes handed thim
th' Ph'lippeens!"

THE ARMY CANTEEN

Mr. Dooley Says

Notka biograficzna

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