"I think," said Mr. Dooley, "if people wanted to be divoorced I'd let
thim, but I'd give th' parents into th' custody iv th' childher. They'd
larn thim to behave."

GLORY

"Hogan has been in here this afthernoon, an' I've heerd more scandal
talked thin I iver thought was in the wurrld."

"Hogan had betther keep quiet," said Mr. Hennessy. "If he goes
circulatin' anny stories about me I'll--"

"Ye needn't worry," said Mr. Dooley. "We didn't condiscend to talk about
annywan iv ye'er infeeryor station. If ye want to be th' subjick iv our
scand'lous discoorse ye'd betther go out an' make a repytation. No, sir,
our talk was entirely about th' gr-reat an' illusthrees an' it ran all
th' way fr'm Julius Cayzar to Ulysses Grant.

"Dear, oh dear, but they were th' bad lot. Thank th' Lord nobody knows
about me. Thank th' Lord I had th' good sinse to retire f'rm pollyticks
whin me repytation had spread as far as Halsted Sthreet. If I'd let it
go a block farther I'd've been sorry f'r it th' rest iv me life an' some
years afther me death.

"I wanted to be famous in thim days, whin I was young an' foolish. 'Twas
th' dhream iv me life to have people say as I wint by: 'There goes
Dooley, th' gr-reatest statesman iv his age,' an' have thim name babies,
sthreets, schools, canal boats, an' five-cent seegars afther me, an'
whin I died to have it put in th' books that 'at this critical peeryod
in th' history of America there was need iv a man who combined strenth
iv charackter with love iv counthry. Such a man was found in Martin
Dooley, a prom'nent retail liquor dealer in Ar-rchey Road.'

"That's what I wanted, an' I'm glad I didn't get me wish. If I had, 'tis
little attintion to me charackter that th' books iv what Hogan calls
bi-ography wud pay, but a good deal to me debts. Though they mintioned
th' fact that I resked death f'r me adopted fatherland, they'd make th'
more intherestin' story about th' time I almost met it be fallin' down
stairs while runnin' away fr'm a polisman. F'r wan

Mr. Dooley Says

Notka biograficzna

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